Does anybody remember the “song” Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen) that filmmaker Baz Luhrmann unleashed on the world in 1999? A litany of advice to young people originally written by Chicago Tribune writer Mary Schmich, read by voice actor Lee Perry over a remix of Quindon Tarver’s “Everybody’s Free (To Feel Good)”, it was undoubtedly the strangest thing to hit the radio that year.

In our end-of-term report to MCC, we are asked what advice we would give to a new volunteer coming to our assignment location. I had plenty. If you feel so inclined, put on your Romeo + Juliet soundtrack and read the list below aloud.

Don’t be afraid to say no to people who want free English lessons (there will be plenty), but don’t assume that everyone who wants to speak English with you is looking for free tutoring. Make friends. Buy a cheap cloth mask to protect your lungs in traffic.

Wear a helmet.

Respect their ancestors. Play sports. Learn enough Vietnamese to understand the logic behind illogical English. Don’t leave home without a raincoat.

In traffic, don’t look back, and stay away from buses. Forget what you were taught about how to cross the street: that doesn’t apply here.

Drink the coffee, it’s wonderful.

Don’t worry too much about food safety or hygiene. Don’t worry too much about anything. Use Skype to call family and friends. Try ruou can at least once. Sing. Learn one or two slang phrases in Vietnamese and use them judiciously.

Always give the benefit of the doubt to someone who is rude to you; what they are doing might not be rude to them. Don’t queue politely unless you have all day. Be generous with your personal space. Read good books. Drink lots of water. (Boil it first.)

Host visitors halfway through the year to rediscover the strangeness and excitement of your new home. Take pictures of motorbikes laden with live animals. Take videos of the traffic. Don’t show them to your parents until you’re back home.

Share your anger and frustration with other foreigners; help each other realize you’re being too harsh. Buy pirated DVDs. Scan your USB drive for viruses. If none are found, use better antivirus software.

Collect stories.

Consider your worst experiences to be your best stories and start laughing about them. Don’t assume your stories are interesting to others; tell them to your most critically honest friends first. Keep a blog. Write more often than I did, but don’t put off having fun out of an obligation to write. Bring a good pair of headphones.

Some of this advice might be useful, some might not. Some is obvious, some might not make sense until you’ve been here a while, and some you may decide is dead wrong. Take what you can use, ignore the rest, and enjoy the year.

Chuc may man!