Hanoi Traffic

If anyone who reads this blog is a SALT stalker (that is, a parent or friend of an MCC SALTer who regularly reads other SALTers’ blogs), the ‘day in the life’ post is one that will be familiar to you. Examples can be found here, here, here, here, and here.

Being someone who enjoys being different merely for the sake of it, I have decided to take the ‘day in the life’ post inside my head. Here is a brief sample of my thoughts on any given Tuesday or Thursday (my ‘normal’ days).

6:12 a.m. Unprintable.
6:43 a.m. “Do I really have to take down this mosquito net every morning?”
6:55 a.m. “Please be bread, or phở, or bún for breakfast today. Anything but instant noodles and half-fertilized duck eggs.”
7:26 a.m. “Man, I sure love the smell of exhaust fumes in the morning.”
7:34 a.m. “I remember when a gap of 7 inches between two vehicles felt close.”
8:02 a.m. “Hey, I’m almost on time today.”
8:13 a.m. “I can’t wait until we’re finished editing this book. I really don’t care about Vietnamese cinema this much. I’ve already seen eight articles about this movie.”
9:38 a.m. “I’ve read this sentence three times, and I still don’t understand what it’s driving at. Let’s just highlight it and move on.”
10:09 a.m. “How much longer until nap time?”
11:24 a.m. “Okay, that sentence is hilarious. I have to save that one for later.”
12:02 p.m. “How do I say ‘give me everything but the fish’ in Vietnamese again?”
12:40 p.m. “Oh glory, hallelujah. Praises be. The noon-hour nap is the best idea never to take hold in Western culture.”
1:40 p.m. “Where am I? Oh, I’m still at work.”
3:08 p.m. “How much longer until volleyball?”
3:11 p.m. “That’s interesting. I’ve seen that exact grammatical structure in Vietnamese. It must have been translated literally.”
4:17 p.m. “How much longer until volleyball?”
4:59 p.m. “Volleyball, here I come.”
6:14 p.m. “If only I could spike this stupid ball. Well, at least I hit it into the net harder that time.”
7:02 p.m. “Alright traffic, it’s just you and me. If you promise not to kill me today, I promise never to tell my parents just how bad you really are.”
7:40 p.m. “I am the King of Chopsticks.”
8:05 p.m. “Kid, you’re 12 years old and can conjugate English verbs as well as I can. That’s remarkable. Now let’s get your homework finished.”
9:11 p.m. “Okay, I understood that question. I could be on a Vietnamese game show, too! Wait, I don’t know the answer.”
9:49 p.m. “Alright bed, it’s just you and me…and maybe Ira Glass.”